Why I Don’t Have a Girlfriend

Relationships are a fundamental part of our lives.  As a Christian, our lives are supposed to be focused on our relationship with Jesus.  We have close relationships with friends, business relationships, family relationships, and even amorous relationships(I guess that SHOULD be singular).  Maintaining a relationship is one of the most important things a person can do in their life.  So why do I bring this up? Because maintaining a relationship is not easy.  In fact it’s so hard that when people are asked what the most annoying part of their job is, they respond with, “dealing with people.”  It doesn’t matter what type of relationship, it takes work.  For example, I had some really close friends in high school like we all did.  That is a very critical point in our lives where we are growing up and experience a lot together.  But like many people, a lot of my close friends from high school are no longer close.  We didn’t go to college together and thus distance (I’ll come back to this) and life just caused us to drift away.  When we run into each other, we can always enjoy each other’s presence and reminisce about our stupidity from high school but we have both formed other relationships.  We have put more work and nurtured our relationships that we made in college.  So you guys are all probably wondering what the hell is he talking about? How does this even coincide with the title, why he doesn’t have a girlfriend?  I guess my main point is that a relationship is hard and takes a lot of work.  Just continue reading…

Recently, I have been asked a lot about whether I am single or not.  My normal response which makes plenty of sense to me is that I am 22 years old!!! I thought that was a great answer but when I look around (and I mean, when I get on Facebook) I notice that friends are getting engaged/married.  My roommate from my freshman year has been married for almost a year already! So I guess I understand why everyone asks me if I am involved with someone.  Even my mom drives me up the wall asking me about my “love life” whenever I see her.  My mom was already married at my age and furthermore almost pregnant with my hellion brother.  Now when I think of the possibility of me being in that situation (she wanted to be in that situation, was not an accident!), I cringe.  Not because I am anti-relationship (maybe after you read this you may say I am) or because I am scarred from a previous relationship (still crying myself to sleep).  But, I am just not ready.  And trust me; I have passed up some good opportunities.  One girl I was interested was like my ideal wife.  But I ended up ruining it, possibly subconsciously, because I was not ready.  My friends still call me an idiot for that one (I do too sometimes).  Anyways, not ready because:

1) I am selfish.  I like doing my own thing and not having to answer to anyone (other than God).  But for example, I can focus on what I want to do and not how it will affect my “other half.”  This leads to my next point…

2) I am all over.  I have no clue where I will be in 6 months.  OK all the females are saying, “Lame excuse Michael.”  But I’m serious.  I have an idea but I could be in Arizona, Utah, Iowa, or California.  And if I get released, I’ll probably head straight overseas! So what does that have to do with a girlfriend?  DISTANCE(I came back to it).  Distance can ruin a relationship.   Some people can do it.  And that is awesome.  They are better than me but I just can’t do it.  I don’t want to be missing “her” and all that sappiness.  Because the second I start focusing on what isn’t there, a girl, then I will not be focused on what is there, my job and more importantly, my dream.  Which leads to my third and final point….

3) I am chasing a dream.  Ever since I have picked up a baseball, I have wanted to play professional baseball.  One girl that I liked in middle school told me I would not play in the MLB so naturally I didn’t like her anymore.  So how does that correlate? Well, I guess quite frankly I don’t want to fall in love and do something crazy.  I mean let’s be honest, we all know love makes you do CRAZY things.  I was only dating a girl and made some questionable calls all in “the name of love.”  So what possibly could I do that would be that crazy?  I don’t want to lose my dream.  My dream of playing professional baseball.  I may end up hating baseball next year.  But I will know it’s because I just don’t like it anymore.  I have heard stories all the time where a player becomes involved with a girl, either back home or where they are playing and sure enough within time, they lose the dream.

I probably just killed my chances with a bunch of girls but hey, I don’t want to lose my dream.  Not yet.


30 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Have a Girlfriend

  1. Michael–
    My husband and I have been following USC baseball for sometime. We have been a huge fan of yours since you started! We have laughed at your antics, cheered over your victories, and cried (me) when the CWS ended in 2012 because I knew your career at USC was over. My husband is a former pitcher who loved to watch you every game you pitched and explain every detail of your stance, release, etc. So having said all that you get the point, We are HUGE Michael Roth fans. We are not much older than you but you are such an intelligent young man! This blog proves that! You have your whole life ahead of you to worry about girls and what you want to do with your life! God has had a hand in your life thus far and he will not lead you astray! Your response to this is totally perfect!

  2. First of all, I have just out your blog and have enjoyed reading it. Yes you need to follow your dream. There are too many people (myself included) who did not follow their dream and ask themselves many years later, what if?
    Secondly, following your dream and having a girlfriend does not have to be mutually exclusive. Yes in a relationship you will have compromises but the young lady God puts in your life will want to support your dream but at the same time she may be living her dream. Just because you are in a relationship does not mean you have to immediately get married. Take the time to develop the relationship. You didn’t learn how to pitch with one pitch so a relationship with the young lady God sends you will take time also. May God bless you in all of your endeavors. Will miss you on the pitchers mound at USC.

  3. Well I think this is just awesome! I’m only 23 like you and know that dreams are hard to come by! Good luck in the future on your relationship and baseball!

  4. You are a very wise man! There is plenty of time to settle down. Enjoy life to the fullest while you are responsible only for yourself.

  5. You are still young. This is the time to live your dream. You have time for a serious relationship later in life. Enjoy your life to the fullest. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders.

  6. I’m 24 and for the past two years ‘Ive been asked when I’m getting married and Im like you, I know its not time. I know people I went to middle school with who got married at 21 and were divorced at 22. So dont feel rushed and God will bring you the perfect one for you. =)

    PLUS once you get married the next question will be “When are you going to start a family?”!!

  7. You are wise beyond your 22 years. Live your dream and one day you will be a better partner for someone for taking this time for yourself. I got married at 34 and to my best friend (I know that sounds cliche but he really is) and we now have three beautiful children and still love to hang out together. Enjoy your life!! Love following you!!

  8. You are wise beyond your 22 years! And as far as the girls out there, I sure wouldn’t want to be the one that pulled you away from your dream. Who would want to live with that?? Live your dream and you will be a much better partner for someone one day having done that. Enjoy following you!!

  9. very well written Michael. I think it’s great that you’re chasing your dreams! There shouldn’t be a rush to do what other people think you should be doing right now.. For me it’s been difficult to determine if this is where God wants me right now and if this is what He wants be to be doing. I pray that you continue pursuing your relationship with Him while going after your goals! He will bless you!

  10. Love this so much! I’m 20 and a sophomore at USC so I definitely know the feeling at family get togethers when people our age get questioned about why we’re not dating anyone. We’re young! We have the rest of our lives to settle down and get married. God will send you a girlfriend/wife when the time is right. For now just keep playing baseball and see where it can take you! A good quote I like to remind myself of goes something like this “You’ll find the person you’re in love with when you start doing the things you love.”

    PS… gonna miss you this year when baseball starts up again. Won’t be the same!

  11. Michael, I did know prior to this post that you are a Christian. How wonderful that you know that the Lord is your Source of Life… And as long as you are following Him and lining up your life and dreams with His Word, you can know He put those dreams and desires in your heart, just as you will be able to discern when He brings a woman to you who may be your wife one day. I’ll leave you with a verse to hang on to (for later) while you continue to live out your dreams and where He has you for now. Proverbs 18:22 says “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and receives favor from the Lord.” My sweet husband likes to quote this to me, and it’s so special that we both know the Lord brought us together at the right time, when he was 33, no less. 😉

  12. Hmmm, getting a hint of exasperation from this post. Don’t ask Michael Roth about personal relationships. Lesson Learned but great blog. Thanks for letting us live vicarously through you.

  13. Finally someone else gets it. Sometimes you have to follow dreams and live for you first to be able to live with/live for (etc. however you want to put it) someone else.

  14. …And that’s why you’re awesome! Such an intelligent, goal-driven man. There’s nothing better than doing what you love, and in this case, you are actually lucky enough to see your dreams realized. Most people aren’t lucky enough to even get close to that opportunity, so take it and run with it! And don’t worry, you could never ruin your chances 😉 Keep on keepin’ on!

  15. wow Michael!! you are so insightful, don’t stop being YOU…
    follow that dream and be thankfuf that you have a dream

  16. WOW! You sound like my son only he was in Medical school. I totally understand. You do not have time right now to have a steady girlfriend. I did have time when I was 21 b/c I was not a professional athlete nor in med school, ect. YOU have to be happy. You wanting to fulfill your dream is not selfish. When u meet the right person you will know.

  17. What would you think about speaking to a group of team gymnastic girls? They are all competitive and are all around eleven years old?
    Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

  18. When the time and person are right you will know it. God has a plan for you. Enjoy the ride and your new freedom of no school.

  19. The big picture. Michael Roth understands it. Call the news station! There’s life on this planet! You are a gentleman and a scholar.

  20. You just need to meet someone to date who is at the same point in life…following their own dreams. You can enjoy time together without making huge commitments as long as you are both upfront about your expectations. It’s not necessarily all or nothing. Having said that I know the perfect girl for you….:)

  21. Now is the time in your life where it is okay to be selfish. You just finished college and living your dream. I graduated from college 2 and a half years ago and I am nowhere ready to settle down. It is not fair to either person in the relationship if you aren’t fully “there”. When the time is right, God will let your heart know it. Best of luck on your journey!!

  22. You are wise beyond your years. Continue to follow your dream and I will continue to follow you and hope that baseball is the path that God leads you. You are a good role model for those young and old. I am one of the older fans that cheered you on while at USC and listen on my iPad on the days you pitch for Orem.

  23. Biggest obstacle of being in a relationship is having personal dreams and them being pushed to the side so your partner can fulfill theirs. Best advice: find someone who has conquered their own dream and now wants to help you conquer yours. Which in turn helps you both to create dreams together and builds not only a relationship but most importantly a friendship.

  24. Follow your dream….you will find your wife along the way.

    “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but looking in the same direction together.”
    –Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

  25. Good for you Michael! You are young and following your dreams, many people only wish they had done that. The rest will fall into place when the time is right.

  26. I think your response to why you don’t have a girlfriend is perfect! It does take a lot out of you….I admire your relationship with god….that is a life lasting relationship. I think when people get married and life captures them I’m so many directions that god gets left behind and life takes over…follow your dream and when the right one comes along you will not be able to turn it down!! Your words you write are so honest and good! Don’t ever loose your humbleness in life’s journey that makes a man more attractive than anything! 🙂
    Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

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